{"id":20428,"date":"2018-08-15T17:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-08-15T19:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.silutesnaujienos.lt\/lt\/pragaro-ratus-praejusi-kristina-svajoju-padeti-kencianciai-moteriai\/"},"modified":"2018-08-15T17:00:00","modified_gmt":"2018-08-15T19:00:00","slug":"pragaro-ratus-praejusi-kristina-svajoju-padeti-kencianciai-moteriai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.silutesnaujienos.lt\/lt\/pragaro-ratus-praejusi-kristina-svajoju-padeti-kencianciai-moteriai\/","title":{"rendered":"Pragaro ratus pra\u0117jusi Kristina: \u201eSvajoju pad\u0117ti ken\u010dian\u010diai moteriai…\u201c"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Kristinos<\/a>Kristinai – vos 26-eri, ta\u010diau did\u017ei\u0105j\u0105 dal\u012f to neilgo savo gyvenimo ji vadina tamsiu labirintu, kuriame bla\u0161k\u0117si beveik visus tuos du de\u0161imtme\u010dius. Vaikyst\u0117je atstumta kiemo vaik\u0173, neradusi \u0161ilumos ir supratimo t\u0117v\u0173 \u0161eimoje, nepritapusi ir begal\u0119 paty\u010di\u0173 i\u0161kentusi mokykloje, paauglyst\u0117je paragavusi alkoholio, o netrukus ir narkotik\u0173, mergina i\u0161 to labirinto ilgai nerado i\u0161\u0117jimo. Kol vien\u0105 nakt\u012f, jau praradusi bet koki\u0105 vilt\u012f i\u0161lipti, ji surinko viename reklaminiame lapelyje rast\u0105 telefono numer\u012f. O atsiliepusiam \u017emogui i\u0161tar\u0117: \u201ePad\u0117kite man…\u201c<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kristinos atvirumas ir stebina ir \u017eavi. Stebina tod\u0117l, kad tikrai ne kiekvienas i\u0161dr\u012fstume taip atvirai, nesl\u0117pdami nei vardo, nei veido, prabilti apie savo nuopolius. \u017davi tod\u0117l, kad jauna moteris tvirtai supranta vardan ko ji tai daro: \u201eTam, kad savo pavyzd\u017eiu paliudy\u010diau, jog galima i\u0161lipti, galima kitaip gyventi, kad bent vien\u0105 \u0161iandien taip pat ken\u010dian\u010di\u0105 ir i\u0161eities nerandan\u010di\u0105 moter\u012f paskatin\u010diau jos ie\u0161koti\u201c, – sako ji.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Labai nor\u0117jo pritapti prie bendraam\u017ei\u0173<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kristina augo Klaip\u0117doje, probleminiame rajone. Prisimena namuose nuo vaikyst\u0117s tvyrojusi\u0105 baim\u0117s kupin\u0105 aplink\u0105. Baim\u0117 tur\u0117jo pagrind\u0105 – j\u0105 s\u0117jo nuolat girtav\u0119s ir nami\u0161kius g\u0105sdin\u0119s t\u0117vas. Mama nesugeb\u0117jo lipti i\u0161 tokio gyvenimo – ji tik verk\u0117, gail\u0117jo sav\u0119s ir g\u0117r\u0117 antidepresantus. \u0160iandien Kristina \u012fsitikinusi, jog b\u016bt\u0173 buv\u0119 geriau, jei mama b\u016bt\u0173 palikusi smurtaujant\u012f t\u0117v\u0105. Bet ji pasirinko prie\u0161ing\u0105 keli\u0105 – kent\u0117ti.<\/p>\n

Nei kieme, nei mokykloje geriau nebuvo. Kristina prisimena buvusi putloka, ir, jos tuome\u010diu \u012fsitikinimu, negra\u017ei. O tokie bruo\u017eai, \u017einia, paauglyst\u0117je populiarumo tarp bendraam\u017ei\u0173 neprideda. Tod\u0117l ir jai teko i\u0161k\u0119sti daug paty\u010di\u0173.<\/p>\n

\u201eBuvau labai tyli ir u\u017edara, netur\u0117jau kam i\u0161sisakyti. O tur\u0117ti draug\u0173, b\u016bti j\u0173 vertinama taip nor\u0117josi…\u201c, – prisimena mergina.<\/p>\n

\u0160iandien ji jau \u017eino, kad visos tos prie\u017eatys ir past\u016bm\u0117jo j\u0105, vos 13-os sulaukusi\u0105, \u012f vyresni\u0173 vaikin\u0173 apgaul\u0119. Jie, jos pa\u010dios \u017eod\u017eiais tariant, pa\u017eemino ir su\u017ealojo ne tik jos k\u016bn\u0105 – bet ir moteri\u0161k\u0105 savigarb\u0105. Ta\u010diau suprato tai tik daug v\u0117liau – po de\u0161imtme\u010dio, jau bendraudama su psichologais.<\/p>\n

Paragavo heroino ir… atsid\u016br\u0117 gatv\u0117je<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ma\u017edaug tuomet kiemo draugai Kristinai pasi\u016bl\u0117 alkoholio. Mergina tik\u0117jo: tai jai pad\u0117s pritapti prie j\u0173, b\u016bti tokia, kaip jie. Pirmasis jausmas toks ir buvo: \u201ePajutau, kad ne tik pritapau, bet ir tapau labai dr\u0105si, i\u0161silaisvinau i\u0161 savo taip ilgai kamavusi\u0173 baimi\u0173\u201c, – pasakoja ji.<\/p>\n

Kitas \u017eingsnis buvo… \u017eol\u0117, kuri\u0105 tuomet, anot Kristinos, r\u016bk\u0117 visi bendraam\u017eiai. Ir v\u0117l tas jausmas – tapo tokia, kaip visi. Kiek tas poj\u016btis truko, \u0161iandien nebepasakyt\u0173, ta\u010diau prisimena, kad vien\u0105 dien\u0105 pajuto – to \u201elaim\u0117s\u201c jausmo reik\u0117t\u0173 dar daugiau, dar stipresnio… Ir v\u0117l paraginta bendraam\u017ei\u0173 paband\u0117 heroino. Jai buvo vos 17.<\/p>\n

\u201eI\u0161gyvenau tai, ko iki tol nebuvau patyrusi. Ekstaz\u0117, palaima, – gal taip gal\u0117\u010diau vardinti tuos jausmus. Bet tada dar ne\u017einojau, jog tai t\u0117ra tik did\u017eiul\u0117 iliuzija ir saviapgaul\u0117\u201c, – \u0161iandien jau \u017eino Kristina.<\/p>\n

O naujasis narkotikas \u012ftrauk\u0117 i\u0161 karto ir nepaleido – jo reik\u0117jo v\u0117l ir v\u0117l. \u201eJis buvo gyvybi\u0161kai reikalingas kiekvien\u0105 dien\u0105. Antraip – abstinencija ir bais\u016bs fiziniai skausmai\u201c, – prisimena jauna moteris.<\/p>\n

Bet tam reik\u0117jo dar ir pinig\u0173, o j\u0173 gauti nebuvo paprasta. Tada, anot jos pa\u010dios, ji ir dar\u0117 visk\u0105, kad gauti dozei reikaling\u0105 sum\u0105 – daug beproti\u0161k\u0173 dalyk\u0173, toli gra\u017eu nesutelpan\u010di\u0173 \u012f visuotinai priimtas moral\u0117s normas. \u201eTapau monstru, vagimi ir i\u0161naudotoju, kurio mintys sukosi tik apie vien\u0105 – kaip prasimanyti pinig\u0173 ir v\u0117l susileisti\u201c, – klausantis tokios i\u0161pa\u017einties nesitiki, kad tai i\u0161gyventi teko \u0161iai simpati\u0161kai \u0161alia s\u0117din\u010diai jaunai moteriai.<\/p>\n

Prasid\u0117jo reikalai su teis\u0117sauga, naktys are\u0161tin\u0117je. Jos jau \u0161alinosi ne tik menkai pa\u017e\u012fstantys – atst\u016bm\u0117 ir artimieji. Ji atsid\u016br\u0117 gatv\u0117je.<\/p>\n

Paskambinusi i\u0161tar\u0117 du \u017eod\u017eius<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kiek taip t\u0119s\u0117si? Gal metus, gal daugiau, – Kristina ir nebepasakyt\u0173. Tiesa, buvo ne vienas bandymas vaduotis, bet tik tada, kai nebegal\u0117davo gauti doz\u0117s. Pasiry\u017eusi detoksikacijai ilgai nei\u0161tverdavo – pab\u0117gdavo i\u0161 ligonin\u0117s ir v\u0117l gr\u012f\u017edavo \u012f gatv\u0119. <\/p>\n

Bet ji pamena vien\u0105 nakt\u012f, kuomet prabusi laiptin\u0117je suvok\u0117 vis\u0105 savo pad\u0117ties bevilti\u0161kum\u0105: ji, ne\u017einia kiek laiko nevalgiusi ir nesipraususi, netekusi artim\u0173j\u0173, nebeturinti fizini\u0173 j\u0117g\u0173, guli svetimoje laiptin\u0117je, i\u0161 kur irgi bet kada gali b\u016bti i\u0161vyta… O galvoje ir v\u0117l ta pati mintis – i\u0161 kur gauti pinig\u0173?.. Ir Kristinai suprato, kad taip daugiau nebei\u0161tvers.<\/p>\n

I\u0161sigelb\u0117jimu tapo ka\u017ekada ligonin\u0117s palatoje aptiktas ir \u012f rankin\u0119 \u012fsid\u0117tas lankstinukas, kuriame buvo nurodytas reabilitacijos centro \u201eTaikos kelias\u201c, esan\u010dio \u0160ilut\u0117s rajone, Juknai\u010di\u0173 seni\u016bnijos Gurg\u017ed\u017ei\u0173 kaime telefonas. Ji tiesiog surinko t\u0105 telefon\u0105 ir atsiliepusiam vyrui i\u0161tar\u0117 du \u017eod\u017eius: \u201eGelb\u0117kit mane…\u201c<\/p>\n

\u012e Klaip\u0117d\u0105 jie atvyko nepra\u0117jus n\u0117 valandai ir i\u0161sive\u017e\u0117 Kristin\u0105 \u012f Gurg\u017ed\u017eius. \u201eTai buvo prie\u0161 du metus, ir tai buvo pirmas mano \u017eingsnis lik i\u0161gijimo\u201c, – sako moteris.     <\/p>\n

Sveikimas buvo visapusi\u0161kai skausmingas<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tik reabilitacijos centre Kristina suprato, kad jos priklausomyb\u0117 n\u0117ra tik malonum\u0173 siekimas. Tai pirmiausia – did\u017eiul\u0117s neapykantos sau auginimas, nes vaikyst\u0117je ji buvo nekintamai \u012ftik\u0117jusi tais, kurie i\u0161 jos ty\u010diojosi, ir ilgainiui pati save i\u0161st\u016bm\u0117 i\u0161 tos visuomen\u0117s.<\/p>\n

Ta\u010diau visa tai suvokti nebuvo lengva. O pati prad\u017eia buvo net labai skausminga: abstinenacija, dvasin\u0117 tu\u0161tuma, trys m\u0117nesiai nemigos, nesuvaldomos emocijos, kai b\u016bdavo ir netakti\u0161ka, isteri\u0161ka, kai gal\u0117jo tiesiog ap\u0161aukti kit\u0105 \u017emog\u0173. Buvo ir nesuvokimas, k\u0105 rei\u0161kia priimti save kaip moter\u012f… Visa tai prisimindama dabar ji jau \u017eino – tai jos viso gyvenimo skausmas liejosi i\u0161 vidaus.<\/p>\n

\u201eTas mano valymasis buvo toks sunkus, nes buvau labai \u012fsikibusi \u012f praeit\u012f, vis negal\u0117davau atleisti nei sau, nei kitiems. D\u0117l to net reabilitacijos taisykles ne kart\u0105 pa\u017eeid\u017eiau. U\u017e tai gal\u0117jau b\u016bti i\u0161mesta i\u0161 centro, bet jie man\u0119s pagail\u0117jo. O gal tai Dievas suteik\u0117 man malon\u0119, kai dav\u0117 tokius vadovus, kurie atleid\u017eia prasi\u017eengimus?\u201c, – pasvarsto Kristina.<\/p>\n

Tik matydama kit\u0173 atlaidum\u0105 ji prad\u0117jo atleisti ir pati sau, ir tiems, kas j\u0105 skaudino vaikyst\u0117je. Ne tik atleisti – ji mok\u0117si myl\u0117ti ir save, ir \u0161alia esan\u010dius, o tada – prad\u0117jo jausti laim\u0119 ir i\u0161silaisvinim\u0105. Ta\u010diau tam prireik\u0117 pusantr\u0173 met\u0173.<\/p>\n

Svajon\u0117 – pad\u0117ti moterims<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u0160iandieninis Kristinos pasirinkimas – savo gyvenimu liudyti, kad galima gyventi kitaip, nei gyveno ji.<\/p>\n

Jau por\u0105 m\u0117nesi\u0173 ji gyvena \u0160ilut\u0117je. \u0160\u012f miest\u0105 pasirinko tam, kad b\u016bt\u0173 ar\u010diau reabilitacijos centro, kur kol kas savanoriauja. Ji gerai \u017eino – tik tokius pragaro ratus pra\u0117j\u0119s \u017emogus gali suprasti kit\u0105, \u0161iandien per tuos pa\u010dius ratus einant\u012f, ir jam pad\u0117ti. Tod\u0117l kartu su kitais bendramin\u010diais ji va\u017eiuoja liudyti savo prisik\u0117lim\u0105 \u012f did\u017eiuosius \u0161alies miestus, kalba ba\u017eny\u010diose. Pagrindinis jos tikslas – i\u0161tiesti pagalbos rank\u0105 moteriai: \u0161iandien priklausomyb\u0119 ken\u010dian\u010diai, ir kaip rasti keli\u0105 i\u0161 jos i\u0161eiti, ne\u017einan\u010diai moteriai. <\/p>\n

\u0160iuo metu \u201eTaikos kelyje\u201c – \u0161e\u0161ios moterys, ta\u010diau poreikis, Kristinos \u017einiomis, yra kur kas didesnis. Tod\u0117l centras statosi priestat\u0105, kuriame netrukus gal\u0117s gyventi ir sveikti daugiau moter\u0173.<\/p>\n

O ta, kuri \u0161iandien, kaip ka\u017ekada Kristina, galb\u016bt ken\u010dia vieni\u0161a svetimoje laiptin\u0117je, bet kada gali surinkti Kristinos telefon\u0105: 8 604 04299. Ir ji i\u0161ties pagalbos rank\u0105.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kristinai – vos 26-eri, ta\u010diau did\u017ei\u0105j\u0105 dal\u012f to neilgo savo gyvenimo ji vadina tamsiu labirintu, kuriame bla\u0161k\u0117si beveik visus tuos du de\u0161imtme\u010dius. Vaikyst\u0117je atstumta kiemo vaik\u0173, neradusi \u0161ilumos ir supratimo t\u0117v\u0173 \u0161eimoje, nepritapusi ir begal\u0119 paty\u010di\u0173 i\u0161kentusi mokykloje, paauglyst\u0117je paragavusi alkoholio, o netrukus ir narkotik\u0173, mergina i\u0161 to labirinto ilgai nerado i\u0161\u0117jimo. Kol vien\u0105 nakt\u012f, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-jaunimo-banga"],"yoast_head":"\nPragaro ratus pra\u0117jusi Kristina: \u201eSvajoju pad\u0117ti ken\u010dian\u010diai moteriai...\u201c - \u0160ilut\u0117s naujienos<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.silutesnaujienos.lt\/lt\/pragaro-ratus-praejusi-kristina-svajoju-padeti-kencianciai-moteriai\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"lt_LT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Pragaro ratus pra\u0117jusi Kristina: \u201eSvajoju pad\u0117ti ken\u010dian\u010diai moteriai...\u201c - \u0160ilut\u0117s naujienos\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Kristinai – vos 26-eri, ta\u010diau did\u017ei\u0105j\u0105 dal\u012f to neilgo savo gyvenimo ji vadina tamsiu labirintu, kuriame bla\u0161k\u0117si beveik visus tuos du de\u0161imtme\u010dius. 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